Average 4/5 is emotionally heavy. Powerful, passionate feelings and aesthetic appreciations swell within and then get bottled up inside. 4/5s might avoid expressing their feelings because they feel that no one could possibly understand them. Like 4/3, they feel special and different, but 4/5 is more likely to withdraw into sullen silence than to make a big public scene. 4/5 and 5/4 both have strong feelings which they repress, but because their feelings are stronger than their repression, 4/5s are more aware than 5/4 of their inner emotional state. Consequently, they are more likely to become depressed. There is a kind of delicacy to 4/5 that is not usually present in 4/3.
Balanced 4/5 lightens up. The five-wing’s integration to eight adds a kind of solidity and strength to the healthy 4/5, while the integration of four to one provides clear judgment and rationality. Healthy 4/5s escape from the obsessive, dark, inner view, looking more outward into the world. There they find new connections with other people, perhaps to their great surprise. They discover that they have been loving people (and themselves) all along, although they may not have known it.
With spiritual growth, the realization that love has been present all along strengthens into an unquenchable thirst for deeper inner connections with an inner source of meaning. These connections are strengthened by loving compassion for other humans. Extremely advanced 4/5 is a gentle, strong, deeply passionate human. Keen observations of the subtle states of others provide a miraculous ability to elicit powerful, transforming feelings. They may express themselves in person, through their writings, or in more subtle ways.
Unbalanced 4/5 can move into the extreme withdrawal of depression, then, with still further disintegration, into a sort of dark impulsiveness. Deeply troubled by feelings of utter worthlessness and extreme isolation, unhealthy 4/5 may look for opportunities to perform degrading, menial tasks, rationalizing that such a fate is deserved. Servility and self-abasement provide a kind of barely-adequate, very temporary relief from the constant torment of self-hatred.
As life becomes less and less tolerable, suicide becomes increasingly likely, and if it happens it may be done in some unusually gruesome way. Extremely dark, horrifying inner imaginings are welcomed and encouraged. The whole world, both inner and outer, is seen as grotesquely diseased and utterly without redeeming qualities. 4/5 Hell is a place of unimaginable ugliness, populated by those deformed, psychotic monsters, the human race. At this level, 4/5 revels in hopelessness and despair.
Some 4/5s place little attention on appearance, beyond a kind of casual style. Black clothing is common, loosely worn and maybe not very well-fitted. By contrast, there are other 4/5s who are careful to dress well whenever possible. Well-dressed 4/5s seem to have a way of looking elegant but understated. Whether or not they dress and groom themselves carefully, average to unbalanced 4/5s often feel they are unattractive in some way.
Some 4/5s find work that lets them express their deep feelings while withdrawing from direct contact. Writers, painters, sculptors, philosophers, fabric designers. Others like to make deep contact with a few, carefully selected people. Psychologists, butlers, personal aides. They might overcome the desire to withdraw, coming out as popular musicians or character actors. Often they settle for relatively unglamorous work, living a rich fantasy life instead. There are 4/5 accountants, technical writers, and night clerks. Of course, 4/5s can also be found doing many other kinds of work.
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